Returning to Work After Having a Child

Returning to work after having a child/children is daunting, exciting and a shock to the system.

I remember thinking about the prospect of going back to work after 2 years at home. I was excited about having normal adult conversations, having a separate identity again even for a short period of time, and earning an income. This last point can really affect your self esteem!

There were many scary questions that came up for me… What on earth could I apply for? How would my baby cope without me? How would I cope without her? Was I a bad person for wanting to return to work? What to do first?

In my previous life I worked in hospitality which equated to long hours, odd hours and a young demographic. Nothing in that list really suited my lifestyle now. I did have a go at one hospitality position on a casual basis which didn’t last more than two weeks. It seems there is a strange anomaly where your child gets sick instantly the moment you return to work. Why? I am not sure but it certainly tests both you and your new employer. I realised that the restaurant and café industry wasn’t quite ready for my new work needs of “family friendly”, a term I now use in all my interviews.

So where to from here? I felt like all my experience previous to child birth had somehow diminished. My knowledge of children’s songs, multi tasking, running a household, listening through walls, growing eyes in the back of my head was outstanding but what was my skill set to the working world? What did I want to do? Who would want someone in their organisation who may at very short notice have to drop everything and attend to a sick child?

So many questions, no friends in the same situation, and no idea? The good news is I managed to get a job as an administration assistant in a large insurance organisation. This was a great lesson in my experience as a working parent. I had to attend a funeral in QLD the first week of my job and support the family. On my return I worked hard, really hard to prove myself to the working world and my new employer that I was just like them. Just when I felt I had made up for having time off in my first week, my daughter got sick again. My boss was an elderly woman who had had children of her own a long time ago, but seemed to have forgotten the challenge of being a working parent.

The stress of wanting and needing to be there for your child, and that guilt of not being at work. I am sad to say that my boss made it very clear to me that she wasn’t impressed that my child could not stay healthy 365 days of the year and constantly reminded me of how much time I had taken off and how I had already had a week off so early in the piece. Did she forget that it was for a funeral?

The lessons I learnt from that experience were great. I knew what I did and didn’t want in my next position. I learnt that it’s your responsibility to prepare for interviews and question just as much as you are questioned. What’s important to you? What are your requirements? Do you need flexible working options? How many other staff members are parents? Is your future boss a parent? There are great non parents out there so don’t get me wrong. My point is that you want to know who you are going to be working for.

You need to know how “family friendly” they are and will they need educating. The way you pose these questions will either aid your future career or cross you off the list. So be constructive.

For me personally I always ask “Are you family friendly?” and then wait to see what the response is… If they don’t even know what that means, I am already concerned. Sometimes it just requires a very brief explanation. How you choose to cover off this area is very personal.

My belief is, if I am being ruled out because I’ve mentioned that I have a child then it’s a blessing in disguise. I would rather cover off on ensuring there is some flexibility in the position to occasionally take time off to attend concerts, appointments and options for working from home if my child is sick right from the start then find out the hard way and possibly affect my reputation down the track.

It’s also important to note that I always talk about it being a two way street. That I will always make up for time taken to attend theses appointments, will give as much notice as possible and ensure my work is completed to the best of my abilities. I also have great skills for empowering others and sharing knowledge. These two skills are highly regarded and very beneficial for working parents. Who wants to be a single point of failure? Not me!  If all of that still doesn’t make the interviewer feel content that I am a valuable employee, then I am glad I have been ruled out as it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

When returning to work it will at times be stressful enough without experiencing the horrid boss I had in all their versions. You want to take action, be clear about what you can offer, what you need and yes of course be adaptable.

The great news is there are many, many others out there in your shoes. So find comfort and talk to other parents who have already returned to work and share information. There is also an array of information on the internet. Something I didn’t have back then. Use it. Knowledge is power. There are career coaches, life coaches, support groups and specialist websites for return to work Mothers, Fathers, and parents.

The first step is deciding what you want, what you need and where do you want to go? Look for clues in your previous experiences both good and bad, what worked well, what didn’t. Where you achieved the most and what lead you to move on. This will give you a clearer understanding of where your strengths are and what sort of position you would like. There are also professionals who can assist with this process.

Get on the job boards, set up alerts, search for specific sights for returning to work and read the information. Update your resume, get help if required.

Use websites like ours to gets great tips for updating your resume. Set small goals and continue to take steps towards your goal daily.

Most importantly remember you are a great asset! You are less likely to chuck a “sickie”, take unnecessary leave or waste time. You need that up your sleeve for the unexpected. I recommend promoting the organisations that support working parents to your networks. I salute all the organisations that have or are implementing the systems, processes and policies to support and encourage the hiring of working parents.